With Valentine’s Day here, I’m flooded with the thankfulness I have for my husband and everything he’s taught me through our 3 1/2 years of marriage so far. We come from completely different backgrounds and have opposite personalities so there’s a lot of learning around here haha. Our first year of marriage was extremely hard, and I’m so thankful for that because it’s only made our relationship stronger and gotten better in every area, we’ve had to grow and change together and I’m so thankful for it!
He’s taught me some great lessons and I want to share them with you!
1. How to love people.
This hasn’t been the easiest thing for me, not just loving in the simplest terms, but always expecting the best from people and giving them the benefit of doubt. It used to be so easy for me to assume the worst of people, always prepare myself for the worst case scenario and would never let people close to me..until I met my husband. I had always put up walls and only let people in just a little bit. I am married to someone that loves so much, always expects the best from people and trusts at such a high level, it’s allowed him to create such great relationships with everyone around him.
No matter what, always choose love over fear or hate (that’s a strong word but it’s true). No matter what people do to you or what story you’ve told yourself about their actions/what they’ve done or said to you/etc. alway choose to love.. be kind to them, forgive them and rewrite the narrative in your head that they probably didn’t mean it how you took it, maybe they’re hurting, choose to be their friend and potentially be the one person in their life that doesn’t run away when things get hard. Serving is a way to show love, I believe love and appreciation are action words and showing it is just as, if not more important than saying it out loud. Always go out of your way to show people you love and care about them.
2. How to always be me, in everything.
I have always been me, but it used to be only around my sister, some of my family and super close friends. Like I mentioned in the previous lesson, I wouldn’t let many people close to me. I learned at a young age, being different was weird and people didn’t like that, so I would hide parts of myself and only reveal them to people that I really trusted. My husband on the other hand, is and always has been himself no matter who he’s around, friends, family, strangers and the funniest yet, my parents.. every time he interacts with my dad, I not only get inspired by his confidence and ability to truly be himself with anyone, but for so long, I felt I couldn’t even be that way with my parents; he’s shown me firsthand how to be me, always.
People want to know you, all of you, not the person you’re trying to be while hiding parts of who you are–side note, most of these types of things are really what make you, you!! Drop the fear of other people’s opinions because they’re none of your business anyway 🙂 The moment I stopped caring about what people thought about me, was the moment I walked into a level of freedom. For the last few years, I wear what I want, I speak my mind and stand up for things that are important to me, I’m bold in my belief systems and I do what I believe is best for myself and our family in the long run without the fear of other people’s opinions. I gave myself the opporutnity to earn my own self-confidence when I began to express myself at the highest level, do what I believe has been put on my heart by God, do what I said/say I’m going to do and stopped hiding parts of myself and my opinions from other people.
3. How to believe in myself.
Growing up, I was always known as the shy, nice girl. I have a twin that’s much more outgoing than me, so funny and life of the party, so naturally I just took a backseat to so many things and began to believe my “label”. Not that I didn’t believe in myself, I always knew I would be successful in anything I did, and if I really wanted something, I did the work to earn it and achieve it and that’s how I’ve always been. The struggle came when developing meaningful, loving relationships, and believing I can have them (I still struggle with this but I’ve come so much farther than where I was) And pushing myself to dream a little more and believing in the impossible. Since I’ve known him, he’s always challenged me to be more, do more, believe more and though it’s hard to hear sometimes and I don’t like it.. in the grand scheme of things, it’s worth it and I appreciate that he pulls the greatness out of me.
Speaking affirmations over myself, choosing to believe I can do something even though the odds are against me and proving it by my action and willingness to learn, are ways that I’ve learned to believe in myself more. I appreciate that I have him in my corner and know that he’s always going to be there, through the good and the bad. He’s been my biggest cheerleader and if I tell him an idea I have, something I want to do, etc, he always challenges me to do it and is rooting for me the whole time, he believes in me and that’s funneled over to me believing in myself at a higher level.
4. How to be a good friend and have healthy relationships.
My husband continues to show me how to be a good friend, no matter the circumstance. This doesn’t mean just to your friends, but also to strangers and maybe people that have done you wrong in some way. Always notice people and pay them a compliment, make them feel special and loved, because they are, everyone matters! He’s taught me how to always love and put in work to develop a good relationship- we can’t control other people, but we can control our actions, how we respond to people, how we love and choose the accept them. He’s taught me how to always choose the higher road and believe the best of & from people, even if they’ve hurt me- to actually forgive, forget and choose to love them. We choose to love and treat people really well. He’s taught me what it looks like to have a great relationship with your family and parents, I’m still working on this but I’ve learned so much just by watching him interact with his family. Relationships take work, being a good friend takes work but relationships are what life is made of, we’re created for relationship.
I’m so thankful for my husband and the lessons he’s taught me and continues to teach me. I hope this helps or inspires in some way.